Random Thought That Popped Up

That Sorting Hat at Hogwarts. Yeah, you know which talking hat I speak of?

Well he kind of talks a lot of crap.

ATMs For The Visually Impaired

So I've pretty much resigned myself to the blindness that makes my world a fuzzy mess. I know better than other people how to recognize the sound of someone's voice or the smell of what's cooking in the kitchen. I can tell you which dog is coming in by the pattern of their toenails clicking on the linoleum. Contacts and glasses make it so I can drive, but even with those I don't have 20/20. It doesn't help that sometimes I have a hard time focusing, probably because of the glaucoma that is attempting to squeeze my eyeballs out of my head.

(On a side note, when my doctor told me that I'll probably get prescribed medication for glaucoma the next time I came in, I asked him what exactly glaucoma is and does. He told me that it's a mysterious pressure in your head that affects your eyes. So I asked if my eyeballs would explode if I just let it go untreated. He said no, it would only detach my retinas. I was disappointed.)

Anyway, Mama trying to get me to look at cards for my cousin's birthday today (Happy Birthday Alisa!) I found myself wondering this...if I go officially blind, and can't read braille, does that make me illiterate?

Economic Crisis

In case you were thinking about calling the unemployment office for help, here's a little tip:

EVERYBODY'S CALLING AT THE SAME DAMN TIME.

On Preferring The Nuke-Resistant Roaches.

So a while ago we had an ant problem going on in our kitchen. Not really surprising, considering the amount of food waste and dishes a 5 (14, if you count the 5 dogs, 2 mice, and 2 cats.) member family plus any number of visitors can accumulate on the kitchen counter in one day. It sucks, but this is not something that surprises me. A little Windex on the counter, don't put your food down, problem solved.

But then they attacked the mouse cage next. Upstairs. They were stealing the mice food. Why? Why do desert ants need kernels of corn and alfalfa pellets?! I dumped out the food and the cage and took the mice with me up to Cedar for a couple of days, but my old girl, Lucy, ended up dying from this invasion. She was old and fat and unable to handle the multiple bites that ensued while she was trying to eat. Luckily, Alice and Miri seem to be a little more hardy. So I came home, cleaned off the dresser, sprayed some more Windex, put down ant bait, and built a moat for the cage. Yes, I'm just that handy.

Today I woke up, and found ants in the bathtub. Where I bathe.

IS NO PLACE SACRED?!?!

Bury The Pieces

My grandmother just broke a mirror, and we got to talking about what sort of bad luck we'll have. It's gotten me thinking about the million superstitions that are out there, and I thought I'd share a few of my favorites with you:

Monday's child is fair of face;
Tuesday's child is full of grace;
Wednesday's child is full of woe;
Thursday's child has far to go;
Friday's child is loving and giving;
Saturday's child works hard for a living.
But the child that is born on the Sabbath day
is fair and wise, good and gay.

Crows:
One's bad,
Two's luck,
Three's health,
Four's wealth,
Five's sickness,
Six is death.

Pictures of an elephant bring luck, but only if they face a door.

Put salt on the doorstep of a new house and no evil can enter.

Broadway, Here I Come.

Ok, so here's another life goal of mine. I really want to write a Broadway play themed for and inspired by Meat Loaf. Yes, that's right BROADWAY. I'm a go-getter, I shoot for the stars.

Everyone would go see it. You know you would go see it. There is nobody that doesn't like Meat Loaf. He was the original emo kid, except with better musical style and more original story lines. Who here doesn't get some sort of sappy Rent-like visual when listening to Bat Out Of Hell or Welcome To The Neighborhood? Well, screw you kid, go back to your corner.

It would have everything though! Drama, humor, sex, rebels, sex, drama, sex...you get my drift.

Meat Loaf: The Musical.

Military-Grade Speed Humps

So this past week or so has been pretty rough, although I've finally figured out how long I can put off washing my hair. (Not as long as I thought, surprisingly enough.) When in Vegas last Tuesday running errands, I got that phone call nobody wants to ever ever ever hear in their lives: There was a car accident. One of my friends died, the other being flight for lifed to UMC.

The funny thing is, for the first couple of days I was all right. And that's probably because I spent those days in the trauma center of the hospital making sure that Carolynn's mom was ok; did she need water? Blankets? Greasy food? Even to everybody else in the waiting room, even a couple I didn't know. You want it, I had it. A pillow, a comforter, an mp3 player, books, Uno, deck of cards, chips, soda...

And then I had to go home and wait to be told when we could actually see Carolynn (it'll be a while.) It's a lot easier to try not to think about things if you're busy, if you have other people to take care of. That's the beauty of being a Girl Scout, you always get the good grace of being prepared to play caretaker.

But ever more frequently, I remembered that Heather was dead.

Whoever is reading this may or may not know about my nearly life long battle with clinical depression. The cycles of self sabotage, of medication, of psychotherapy, of food therapy that I've gone through. Here's the thing about depression, the fact that, until you realize it fully, will hinder one from ever healing fully: something. will. always. happen.

Death is a hard obstacle for anyone. And when people hit speed bumps, well this is all fine and dandy, but this was more like the speed HUMPS that litter Nellis Air Force Base, the ones that need signs and lifted vehicles and dont-sue-us-if-you-get-high-centered.

But hey, such is life, yeah? One day at a time, and a day that I get out of bed is a wonderful day. I am so grateful to the friends who have made me laugh, and the friends who have helped me be there for the ones that need it even more. I love you guys, and you'll be happy to know that in an attempt to restart my life, I'm heading back to the gym tomorrow.

Because here's the truth: life goes on, with or without you.

Word.

It's been a little while. To all of my would-be readers, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for a lot of things.
The fact of the matter is that things change in an instant, and we're not always ready to think, or talk, about those things. About how one day everything is ok and planned out, and the next day is shattered on the floor, a broken reflection of what could have been.

I'm writing this letter to my friend, that oddly enough I have titled. Its called Two Funerals and a Wedding. Because thats how it seems to work. For every wedding, there are two funerals.

Not Always Right Dot Com

From 20 Questions To Truth Or Dare
Call Center | Rexburg, ID, USA
(Note: I work at a call center doing surveys on tourism. This person was obviously drunk when I called them.)

Me: “Have you visited Texas within the last six months?”

Drunk guy: “Yesh.”

Me: “And how many people were in your travel party?”

Drunk guy: “I have had enough of your questions. It’s time for you to answer some of mine!”

Me: “Sir, we only have a few more–”

Drunk guy: “Enough! What is your name, and have you ever been to a nudist colony?!”"

It's About Time We Thinned The Herds.

So I've been sitting back through this whole swine flu thing trying to make a decision. A lot of people were scared, a lot of people who normally seem like very logical people. Yet every news bulletin I heard on the radio made me wonder why it was even worth reporting about.

Honestly, there was a part of me that this was the beginning of a long awaited zombie apocalypse, BUT NO SUCH LUCK. I'll just have to wait to take my turn at anarchy and killing dead things.

But really. After all the rumors and news reports and discussions, all I have to ask is this: what makes this any different from plain old influenze that kill around 36,000 people every year? Don't get me wrong, we have had influenza pandemics in the past that were completely worth worrying about. And a local girl even died from complications of the flu when I was in middle school.

All I have to say is this: if this isn't some sort of goverment conspiracy hiding how horrible and mutating this disease actually is, I will be sorely disappointed.

I leave you with this little tidbit:

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. And others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men at war with good. And some are good, struggling with the evil. 6 billion people in the world. 6 billion souls. And sometimes, all you need is one."

Summertime, The Living's Easy

One thing that I DEFINITELY miss about Reno is the cooler weather. I'm not sure how hot it is up there, but today it hit 100 just outside of Las Vegas. That's hard enough for me, but one of my dogs Sophie (a black lab) lives outside, and our Rhodesian Ridgeback and Dachshund spend most of the day out there with her too. If you're like me with outside pets, be sure to provide lots of shade and even more water for your pets. We have a kiddie pool placed in the shade for the dogs, so not only do they drink, but they wade when it gets too hot. Remember to check the water daily, and NEVER EVER leave your pets in the car.

The best thing we've found to keep our dogs cool and healthy though, are frozen treats. In a cinch, you can put some peanut butter in a kong treat and leave it in the freezer for a few hours, but I've got a tasty recipe that will keep your dog excited for those hot days:

32 oz. plain yogurt
1 mashed banana
2 T p'nut butter
2 T honey

It’s true dairy products aren’t good for dogs, but yogurt contains much less lactase than regular milk and the live cultures are great for your dog’s digestive system. This dog ice cream recipe is delicious and good for your pet!

1. Mix all these ingredients in your blender, then dump into ice cube trays, paper cups, or a kong toy to freeze and serve.

2. If you want to go all out for your mutt you can freeze these homemade frosty paws just like you would homemade ice cream. A salt-less automatic ice cream maker makes this as easy as using any other appliance in your home and the frosty paws will be ready to serve in 10 minutes.

(Thanks to http://www.collargirl.com/frosty_paws.html for providing this yummy recipe)

Be safe and have fun this summer, and be sure to take your pets on lots of adventures. :]

Soon To Be Unemployed. Again.

This little taste of a working life with the Census Bureau, with the freedom to spend a little money here and there, and to pay my bills has been AMAZING. I really have no problem working 8 hours a day if it means this kind of security.

But in a few short weeks (actual time is yet undetermined), this job will come to an end. And I'm pretty sure it will crush my soul.

Ugly Girls piece of wisdom for the day/month/however long it takes for me to post another piece:

Don't question awesome things.

God's City

So this weekend was marked by a trip to God's Blessed Land of Provo, to see The Best Friend, where she attends BYU. We drove in Friday afternoon, stayed all day of Saturday, and left Sunday afternoon.

Checking into the Travelodge and periodically walking in and out of the registration area was probably the best part of the trip. Waiting to be checked in, the pious register boy saw a girl in a tank top with a tattoo waiting to go to her room with her UNMARRIED MALE SIDEKICK, OH THE HORRORS. Being the kind person that I am, however, I quickly explained it away for him before he had an aneurism:

"We're from Vegas."

"OH."

Because, oh yeah, that explains EVERYTHING. I mean, really. Everyone knows Vegas is just a city of pantsless sinners.

Exotic Vacation

I want to go to Sri Lanka. Everybody's been to Mexico, or to Hawaii. Who can say they've been to Sri Lanka? NO ONE, THATS WHO.

Baby Names. Or Dog Names. Whichever Comes First.

Victoria Adeliene.

Jasper King.

Ava Juliette.

Daria Madison.

I tend to lean towards girls names. The universe is going to give me a boy just to screw with me I bet. OH WELL. I've got time.